Nutritionist Tomorrow

I have a nutritionalist appointment tomorrow. 

I'm not sure how I feel about this.

I saw a nutritionalist when I first gained from my 75 pounds to a healthy 95 pounds.  I used the exchange system.  That was awesome because I didn't have to count calories, but I still had to measure and plan and sometimes I felt restricted - if I was hungry for an apple, but had protein exchanges left, I couldn't eat my apple and had to eat lunchmeat or something instead.

Then I lost 10 pounds when we moved and stuff.  Then when I decided I wanted to have kids, I gained to 95 again.  This time counting calories.  Eating exactly 2000-2500 calories a day.  But eat what I want, not having to worry about exchanges. 

I'm kind of embarrassed to tell her what I eat though.  Well, not WHAT I eat.  But how it's balanced out.

Breakfast - 400 calories - all fruit/yogurt/little cereal
Lunch - 500 calories - all veg/fruit/lunchmeat/almonds
Dinner - 1000 calories (I know).  Normal dinner (meat/veg/potato) and then a bowl of snack fun (pretzels, cereal, fruit, protein bar, vitatop).  That bowl is WITH the dinner, not later after.

So I totally am heavy the end of my day, not only on food, but carbs.

I've always backloaded.  When in the depths of ED, I skipped breakfast and sometimes lunch.  It makes me feel safe, that I have calories saved for later.

Yet I am always SO STUFFED at night.  TOO stuffed.  To the point of discomfort.  But I do it every single day.

She will want me to balance more.  I want to.  But I don't know if I can.